Sunday, January 10, 2010
Mourning
Now I really know why I did not want to attend my father's memorial service. It is painful knowing what I missed in my youthful years without him being in my life. Right now, I am mourning that the most. What helps with the pain is knowing that my two children would not exist most likely if my father had been part of my life. I may not have met their father. My life decisions could have been much different. I am beginning a fast today for the next 21 days and I am going to ask the Lord to develop in me those similar traits that my father and I share into something to be used for His glory, so that my father may live on through me and I can understand my earthly father and know my Heavenly Father much greater. I thank You in advance Lord for what You are going to do for me over the next 21 days. You are so awesome in Your power and love! Amen.
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I know how you feel, but how do you get around it? How can you try to push aside the regret and the "I wish this or that had happened"? It always happens too late. The old axiom really IS true: you never know what you have until it's gone. There are still things I regret heavily back from Ohio.
ReplyDeleteI guess the other axiom is true as well: "Life is what happens when you're making plans to do something else."
I never in all my life could have envisioned this path.
BZ
All I can say to you BZ, is that we can't change our past, but we can change our future. Please don't have regrets. God is ultimately in control. If it was meant to be it would have been. You will forever be a part of my heart.
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